


Baby's First Bet

by nevercomestheday



Series: David and Deidra- Married Life [7]
Category: Chris Farley - Fandom, David Spade - Fandom
Genre: Bets & Wagers, F/M, Married Couple, Married Life, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-05
Updated: 2014-11-04
Packaged: 2018-02-24 04:12:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2567789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nevercomestheday/pseuds/nevercomestheday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Farleys and the Spades decide to place bets on what baby Jessica's first word will be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Bet

Little Jessica sat in her playpen and shook one of her rattles. She cooed and giggled as she looked up at her parents and their friends.

“She's getting so big! I can't believe she's already almost a year old!” Sivon smiled down at the baby and handed her another toy.

“I know, the time has really flown by!” David looked at his wife as he spoke, putting an arm around her.

“Man, Dave, you guys are so lucky. So has she said any real words yet?” Chris asked.

“Well actually, not yet. She's saying the basic sounds, like she'll go 'ma ma ma' and 'da da da da,' but she isn't saying real words yet.” Deidra sighed.

“Hmm... You know, I bet her first word will be something funny. Don't you think, babe?” Chris nudged Sivon and smiled.

“Oh, I'm sure! She's been around you two so much, before you know it, she'll be saying, 'But Davey!'” Sivon laughed, teasing her husband and his best friend.

“Do I really say it that often?” Chris chuckled.

“Yeah, you do. Every time you want to talk me into doing something stupid, you say it.” David rolled his eyes jokingly.

“But seriously, what do you think her first word will be?” Deidra questioned.

“Well, I think it'll be 'baby.' That's a pretty easy one.” Sivon said.

“Good thinking, babe. I think it'll be 'baby,' too.” Chris chimed in.

“I disagree,” David interjected. “I'm pretty sure it'll be 'no.' I say it to her a lot, especially when she throws her food on the floor. It's easy enough. I think that'll be it.”

“Yeah, 'no' seems like the most likely one.” Deidra agreed.

“Hmm... Care to make this interesting?” David asked as he looked to Chris.

Chris immediately picked up on what David was getting at.

“You know it. $100 says it'll be 'baby.'” He said firmly.

“Are you kidding me? That's easy money. How about a thousand?” David leaned in towards Chris as he spoke.

Sivon shot Deidra an incredulous look.

“Really? Betting on the baby's first word? Is that what we're doing now?” Deidra laughed.

“Don't think you can get out of this! I think we'll be right!” Sivon giggled as she joined in the bet. “I'm in!”

“Fine, fine. A thousand dollars to the lucky couple.” Deidra looked down at Jessica, who was still playing quietly, completely unaware.

“Okay, let's shake then.” David held out his hand.

Everyone took turns shaking everyone else's hand. Once they finished, Chris looked down at his watch.

“Oh crap, it's already 7. We promised Lorne we'd be at dinner in half an hour.” He took Sivon's hand and made a gesture to leave.

“Hold everything. Dinner with Lorne, as in Lorne Michaels?” David asked.

“Yeah...” Chris looked down.

“You're in talks to host, aren't you? Why didn't you tell me?” David raised his voice.

“I didn't want to tell you until we'd settled everything, and I also didn't want to tell you because it was a surprise. I told him on the phone I'd only do it if he let us co-host.” Chris replied sheepishly.

David immediately felt guilty. “Oh, Chris, that's so sweet of you. Well, you guys go have dinner. I assume then that I'll be getting a phone call from good old Dr. Evil himself within the week?” David grinned and did Dr. Evil's pinky-to-mouth gesture.

Chris laughed. “You can count on it.”

He pulled his wife towards the door, and she laughed and waved to Deidra. 


	2. No, Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone's trying to get Jessica to talk.

From that night on, it seemed like the Farleys were at the Spades' house more than they were their own. To an outsider, the four adults would've seemed insane, repeating the same word over and over to little baby Jessica. They scarcely spoke to each other while she was awake.

“Baby! Bay-bee! Come on, Jessica! Bay-bee!” Sivon drew the word out. Jessica simply giggled.

“No, Jessica. No. No!” David sounded almost like he was scolding her. “No!” Once again, the baby just looked up and smiled.

Chris sighed. “I can't believe it. She hasn't said a real word this whole time!”

“Don't worry babe, I'm sure she'll get it. Come on, Jessica! Bay-bee!” Sivon continued to coach Jessica. She seemed to think it was a game.

“No, no, no. No! No!” Deidra tried her luck. Jessica still wouldn't say it.

“If there wasn't so much money on the line, I'd say forget it.” Chris looked down at the baby again. “For Uncle Chris? Bay-bee! See, look.” He turned to his wife. “I love you, baby.” He turned back to Jessica. “That's how you use it! Bay-bee!” He smiled.

Sivon blushed. “Babe, you're just going to confuse her... I love you too, you big goofball.” She kissed Chris on the cheek.

“Hey, hey, hold on. I see what you're doing here. I can make this romantic, too!” David said as he looked down at the baby. “No! Like this.” He looked to Deidra. “Umm... No... There's no one I love more than you!” He smiled, feeling proud of himself.

Deidra laughed and gently slugged his shoulder. “Wow, Davy, you're a master of romance _and_ an excellent speech teacher! Boy, am I ever lucky!”

“Oh, shush.” David grinned sheepishly and kissed his wife.

“Ba! Ba!” Jessica shrieked.

“Hey hey! Looks like she's starting to say baby! Better get that money ready, Dave!” Chris chuckled.

Sivon leaned back down to the baby and picked her up. “Bay-bee!” She repeated it again and again.

“Ba! Ba!” Jessica continued on the one syllable.

As Sivon continued to coach the giggly infant, Chris kept teasing David.

“I hope you have a thousand in cash on you, buddy!” He bellowed.

“Come on, she's only said the one syllable. That's only half the word!” David argued jokingly.

“How many days has it been since we started this whole game, anyway?” Deidra interrupted.

Chris and David looked at each other and shrugged.

“I have no idea. Definitely more than a week...” David trailed off.

“We started on Monday of last week, so nine days... Yep. Nine.” Sivon chimed in.

“Nine? Huh. Been nine days of this already.” Chris thought aloud.

“Nine! Nine! Nine!” Jessica squealed.

Everyone turned to look at the baby. Chris was cracking up already.

“Did she just...” David couldn't even finish his sentence.

“I can't believe it. Nine days of coaching and practicing and babbling like idiots, and she says nine.” Deidra giggled.

“Nine! Nine!” Jessica said again, smiling and showing her four little teeth.

Chris finished laughing and cleared his throat. “Huh. Well... How is she at walking?” 


	3. Thousand Dollar Steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nobody's about to let that bet go to waste, so Chris thinks up an idea.

“I can't believe we're actually doing this.” Deidra shook her head and laughed.

Everyone sat in a circle around the baby, who was standing up. She wobbled as she tried to take her first few steps.

About two hours before, the two couples had agreed that since the first bet fell through and no-one had gotten the money, they would award it to whoever Jessica walked to first. Chris had been the one to suggest a topper of $100 for this new bet, and since David couldn't walk away from a challenge, he agreed.

Sivon and Deidra were participating, but would occasionally shoot each other a look that said, “Our husbands are crazy.”

Everyone was holding their arms out to Jessica, calling to her.

“Come on, Jess! Come to daddy!” David pleaded.

“No, come over here to Uncle Chris!” Chris leaned down to look her in the eyes.

Sivon called out, “Come here cutie pie, come to Auntie Sivon!” All in vain.

Finally, when each person seemed more exasperated than the one before, Deidra gave it one last try.

“Mommy has a cookie for you, Jess! Come get the cookie!” She pulled a little baby biscuit from her pocket and grinned.

Jessica tottered and teetered, almost stumbling as she toddled towards the cookie.

“Figures. Shouldn't that be cheating?” Chris looked to David.

“I don't think so, pal. Now cough it up! Eleven hundred dollars, come on!” David beamed as he watched his daughter tumble into Deidra's arms, grabbing at the cookie.

“Oh, fine.” Chris looked into his wallet. “I only have the flat thousand. Honey, do you have anything on you?”

“Are you kidding me? I don't have a hundred dollars on me!” Sivon laughed.

“How about this, then,” David said. “How about I just tell Lorne to take it out of your check and give it to me?”

Chris laughed. “Shut up, David. I'll get you the cash tomorrow.”

Sivon looked at Deidra. “Looks like we'll be back for a tenth day in a row!”

Deidra smiled. “You know we don't mind. It's been so nice having you guys here every day... Maybe we should continue?”

“I have an idea!” Sivon said excitedly. “How about after the guys do their SNL episode, we all go for a little vacation?”

“I love that idea!” Deidra said.

“And I have a feeling my mom would love to watch the baby for a week,” David chimed in.

“How about Hawaii? Remember that place we went on our honeymoon, babe?” Sivon looked at her husband.

Chris smiled and pulled her into his lap. “Oh, I remember. I remember not leaving our hotel room the first three days.”

“Honey! Not in front of everyone!” Sivon blushed as Chris kissed her neck.

“Cool it, you two! Yeesh.” David chuckled. “Hawaii sounds great though. What do you think, Deidra?”

“Sounds romantic! I'm game!” She smiled and took her husband's hand.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, there will be a continuation from that end part. =D


End file.
